It’s funny how after I posted about learning responsibility, I’m faced with the accusation that I’m not taking enough responsibility. It’s really not a nice feeling.
And if there’s one thing I learnt about D people, is that regardless of what you think, your best response is to just shut up, nod your head and agree even if you disagree. Why argue with a D? They will never consider themselves wrong, and regardless of what I think, cannot agree to disagree, or concede that someone else may have a point. They are so convinced they are right that it is an exercise in futility to engage them. Any point raised just gets refuted, and even if I don’t agree with the rebuttal they will get louder, more verbose, more passionate until I rather just shut up. I’m not conflict driven. They cannot accept that everyone is different, have different views, may have different ideas, beliefs, thoughts… They must all bow down and concede that THEIR ideas, beliefs and thoughts are the only correct one.
So just go along. I mean, why ask for my opinion when even after it is given you will just do what you want – you already know what is “best” after all. Why should I bother since it seems to be more practical that I just follow what you say? So please don’t complain when eventually you feel nobody else is helping you make decisions. The decisions I made you questioned and disagreed with. You neither teach nor guide in decision making, saying I don’t think when I do things, and apparently there is such a thing as dumb questions. So I stop asking. I stop learning. And you blame me for not helping?
This is likely the biggest flaw in my personality – I grew up always agreeing, and therefore it seems I don’t know how to drive or to think.
This is not just about attitude. How do you break out of your shell and step out of your comfort zone when your gut instinctive reaction is always to fall back on the familiar and comfortable? It’s difficult, and it’s tiring, and it’s only when you are forced to that you would grit your teeth and go for it.
I guess sometimes we really need to be plunged into the deep end in order to struggle and be challenged. I thank God in the many difficulties and challenges I face – all opportunities to help me grow and mature.
I hope I will…